let me hold your hand
Photo by Ave Calvar on Unsplash
I am optimistic by choice and cynical in nature. For years, whenever the latter started to take over, I reminded myself of how lucky I am to be a woman today. If I could choose being born at any point in time, I’d choose our era.
My grandmothers have been two of the most influential humans in my life. Neither of them went to university. As women in Spain, in school they had to learn domestic chores and it wasn’t possible for them to open a bank account or travel without the permission of a relevant male figure. The progress we have made on women’s rights over the last few decades is tremendous.
And yet, as we well know, progress is not linear. Women’s rights are once again at the forefront of political agendas. And not just in the US. Gender-based issues have become salient in Poland and Hungary, women’s rights discourse in Russia has brought back the worst tropes of gender roles. China – after years of one-child policy – made abortion illegal.
At the same time, Colombia and Argentina have regularized abortion, German lawmakers stroke down article 219 which restricted “advertisement” of abortions, and French President Emmanuel Macron's Parliamentary group has announced that it will present a bill to add the right to abortion to the Constitution. In May, the Spanish government proposed a bill to approve paid medical leave for menstrual pain, which is also available to women in Indonesia and South Korea.
It is the story of another grandmother that is also etched on my mind. Years ago, I was on the train that connects Barcelona to Sant Cugat. The then-Spanish Minister of Justice was proposing an abortion reform, to restrict it. For some reason, myself and three women occupying a four-seat section of the train began to discuss this. The eldest amongst us shared her story of being forced to continue an unviable pregnancy. Even decades later, I could see, feel, touch her pain.
I can’t imagine many things more cruel than desperately wanting a child and being coerced to carry on with a pregnancy of a baby that will not live. At the same time, if you are a person who believes that from the moment of conception (or shortly after) there’s a human life, that a soul inhabits that being, I can imagine how agitating it must be to think of abortion. I have empathy for that and enough experience in public opinion research and communications to understand that arguments about social and health care are not going to change your mind, regardless of how inadequate those policies are (not to mention the disastrous foster care system).
In the immediate aftermath of the US Supreme Court overturning Roe vs Wade, it is hard to conceive of writing about anything other than abortion. This is a ruling that embodies much of what is going wrong in the US and the dangers of polarization, us-vs-them breaking, and a fracturing democracy. This should serve as a cautionary tale.
Human rights and reproductive rights are intrinsically related. Restrictions on abortion will put the lives of many women at risk, transform the fates of others who can no longer decide their future, and erode social cohesion even further by in some cases making informants of neighbors.
As a person who has spent much of her career researching polarization, conflicts, and human rights, I wish I had more answers. Mostly, I say: I don’t know, I am confused, and I am scared.
Situations like this put our beliefs in bridging to the test. But I do know that it becomes even more important to bridge–not to meet in the middle, not to compromise, not to change minds, but keeping others’ humanity in our minds and not reducing people to simple partisan or political identities, lest we fall prey to dehumanization. (you can watch dr. powell’s reflections on this from our first event, min. 59).
In this situation even more so, because this is not solely or mostly about partisanship or about changing people’s minds but about a power grab facilitated by a flawed system that can be exploited by a vocal extreme minority that benefits from us-vs-them narratives to the extent that it has been possible to influence policy and jeopardize the rule of law (this is not just about abortion, this is a challenge to stare decisis and perhaps a new era for legal doctrine).
If we reduce people to their political identities, pernicious and affective polarization thrive. It’s less about the issue, which we might even agree on (and there’s significant consensus on Roe), and more about the group one belongs to. We double down on narrower identities that become our avenue to making meaning of life. Authoritarians can instrumentalize that identity.
Bridging is not the only action that is needed. No amount of empathy alone is going to fix the system or reverse polarization.
But of the multiple paths available, bridging should be one of them. Breaking gives power to powerful minorities that can stoke fears. Bridging - short or long bridging - takes that power back.
One of my best friends – female, queer – has always been against abortion. But she also told me, if you ever need one, I’ll go with you to the hospital and hold your hand. I wish we could all be a little bit more like her. And if you are struggling – let me hold your hand as well.
Other reads:
Defining polycrisis - from crisis pictures to the crisis matrix. To make sense of the complex world we face today, Adam Tooze presents a visual to understand the multiple crises we are encountering, how they interact, and chart their possible evolution.
If you need some respite, I am currently reading a heartwarming “gourmet memoir”, Save Me the Plums. So far I highly recommend it.
Connecting the Dots: Musings on Bridging and Belonging is a bi-monthly column by Míriam Juan-Torres. In it, Míriam reflects on current events, connecting the trends and considering the specificities across countries, applying a bridging and belonging lens and translating concepts from academia for a wider audience. In Connecting the Dots, Míriam carefully curates readings and resources to further expand our understanding and shed light on the complexities of our time. Join our mailing list to stay up to date on the latest of the Democracy & Belonging Forum's curated analysis from Miriam and more.
Editor's note: The ideas expressed in this blog are not necessarily those of the Othering & Belonging Institute or UC Berkeley, but belong to the authors.